Covey explains a easy, effective three-step communication process. First, one looks for mutual advantages for all involved. 2nd, one attempts to comprehend the other individual before attempting to get them to comprehend you. This is the key to the process and maybe the hardest since we have so little training for it. In this action of seeking to comprehend, it becomes less important who’s correct and more significant what is right. But we must value the other individual in order to do this.
Dealing with individuals isn’t a new art; the basics have been around for a while. One thing in particular, about his communication tips deserves another look as we remember what we need to do to get on better with other people.
Hearing is the opening move. Till we alter our attitude about having to be correct, there’s no true listening happening. Once we open to the other person’s point of view, we may try to explain our position. There’s room for synergy to happen. 2 individuals may make a 3rd alternative representing a shared vision, not just the point of view of one participant.
This shared vision may be integrated into business with a little commitment and practice. Too frequently arguments happen inside an organization where the goals ought to be the same. This 3 step approach may also be utilized with relations with clients and other businesses where the percept of everybody winning is even harder.
An all-important element in this process is the mental attitude connected to it. If everybody realizes before being understood, finding an alternative solution is simple. Individuals frequently refuse to see the value in this process. Unless one is willing to comprehend, value, and accept other people, nothing will work. A willingness to attempt is all that is required.
How often in situations is the point of view of the other really viewed? Many of us don’t listen, but start formulating our rebuttal as soon as the other individual begins talking. Too little time is spent Understanding what any one person is attempting to say. Matters can tend to be unproductive with participants giving up attempting to express their opinion. Listening is essential in setting up an atmosphere of trust.
These concepts, as I stated earlier, are not new. In 1936, Carnegie wrote “How to Win Friends & Influence People” which talks about the same basic themes. There are rarely fresh ideas, just a repackaging of older ones. Carnegie’s book has been a must-read for successful business people for years. Covey reminded us once again. We recognize what to do; we merely still aren’t doing it. Maybe this will help us remember, so many years later but not too late to follow up with the ideas.