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You are here: Home / Personal Development Coach / Personal Development Gurus / Steve Pavlina-Quit Griping

Steve Pavlina-Quit Griping

June 28, 2010

While your thoughts are not you, if you repeat the same thoughts again and again, they’ll condition your mind to a large extent. It’s almost precise to say that we become our dominant thoughts, but I think that’s taking it a little too far.

Synopsis

Possibly the most crucial step in stopping the habit of griping is to disconnect the unsuitable behavior from your identity. A basic mistake people make is to self-identify with the negative thoughts going through their minds.

Picking A Diet
Think about how the foods you eat train your body. You aren’t really going to become the next meal you consume, but that meal is going to mold your physiology, and if you keep eating the same meals again and again, they’ll have a major affect on your body over time. Your body will hunger for and expect those same foods. But, your body stays separate and distinct from the foods you consume, and you’re still free to alter what you eat, which will bit by bit recondition your physiology in accordance with the fresh inputs.

This is why negative thinking is so habit-forming. If you continue holding negative thoughts, you condition your psyche to expect and even crave those retained inputs. Your neurons will even learn to anticipate the reoccurrence of damaging stimuli. You’ll practically become a negativity magnet.

This is a hard state of affairs to escape as it’s self-perpetuating, as anybody bound in negative thinking recognizes all too well. Your damaging experiences feed your damaging expectations, which then draw in fresh damaging experiences.

Therefore, the solution is to quit fighting and give in. Rather than resisting the negativity head-on, admit and accept its presence. This will really have the effect of elevating your consciousness. You are able to actually learn to embrace the damaging thoughts consuming your brain and thereby surpass them. Allow them to be, but don’t identify with them as those thoughts are not you. Start to interact with them like an observer.

Realize also that this is the very reason you’re here, living out your current life as a human. Your reason for being here is to formulate your consciousness. If you’re bogged down in negativity, your task is to develop your consciousness to the point where you are able to learn to stay centered on what you want, to produce positively rather than destructively.

If you need a couple of lifetimes to run through your negativity, you’re free to take your time. Conscious creation is a huge responsibility, and perhaps you don’t feel set for it yet. So till then you’re going to perpetuate the pattern of damaging thinking to keep yourself away from that realization. You must accept that the idea of being the chief creator of everything in your current reality is a bit intimidating. What are you going to make of your life? What if you mess up? What if you try your best and bomb? Those self-doubts will keep you in a convention of negativity as a way of averting that responsibility.

The reason you might be stuck in a damaging thought pattern right now is that at some point, you selected it. You envisioned the option of accepting entire responsibility for everything in your reality would be riskier. It’s too much to manage. You’ll remain in a negative manifestation pattern till you’re ready to begin accepting some of that responsibility.

Negativity needn’t be a lasting condition. You still have the freedom to pick differently.

You see… the true solution to griping is responsibility. You must say to the cosmos (and mean it), “I want to assume more responsibility for everything in my experience.”

Here are a few examples of admitting responsibility:

• If I’m distressed, it’s because I’m producing it.
• If there’s an issue in the world that bothers me, I’m responsible for altering it.
• If somebody is in need, I’m responsible for assisting them.
• If I require something, it’s up to me to accomplish it.
• If I need certain individuals in my life, I must attract and ask for them to be with me.
• If I don’t enjoy my present conditions, I must end them.

On the alternate side, it may likewise help to take responsibility for the good in your life. The good stuff didn’t simply happen to you. You produced it. Tap yourself on the back for what you like, but don’t feel you must profess to enjoy what you distinctly don’t like. But do assume responsibility for all of it… to the extent you’re ready to do so.

Griping is the abnegation of responsibility. And blame is merely another way of relieving yourself from being responsible.

When you hear yourself griping, quit and ask yourself if you prefer to continue to deny responsibility for your truth or to let a bit more responsibility back onto your plate. Perhaps you’re ready to take on more responsibility, and perhaps you aren’t, but do your best to make that decision consciously. Do you require sympathy for producing what you don’t want, or do you wish congratulations for producing what you do want?

Filed Under: Personal Development Gurus Tagged With: Steve Pavlina

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